I grew up as the youngest of nine children in Nazareth, Texas, a German Catholic farming town.
I remember dreaming of a big Catholic wedding in our beautiful Holy Family Church to follow in the footstep of my older sisters.
At the age of about twelve, my Mom said to me, “If you become a Sister, you should be a Franciscan.”  “Ha!” I thought to myself.  “There’s no way I’ll do that, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
In my little mind at that time, Sisters were boring, rarely had fun, and just had a life of service with no love in their lives.  I thought they were all old and grumpy and probably only went to the convent because nobody would marry them.
However, the Holy Spirit used that question that Mom asked me. I spent the next several years secretly wondering if God might be calling me to be a Sister.  I was still very afraid of this prospect for many reasons.  This was in the middle of me being a normal teenager struggling with depression, trying to fit in with the others at school, struggling with a low self-esteem, playing in sports and band and other school activities. I was even on a State Championship basketball team and was able to get a scholarship to a Junior College in this sport.
In the middle of all of this, my mother had been praying the rosary for me for years.  My dad died when I was younger and she was like a single parent trying to know how to help me through those difficult years. Her prayers were answered with a series of events that began to open my heart and my eyes to the bad choices I was making and giving me a desire to grow closer to God.  In my quest for truth, I almost left the church because someone tried to convince me that my faith was the wrong one.  I sincerely searched for truth and that became part of my prayer, “Lord, please help me find the true Church.”
At one point, Mom invited me to go on a pilgrimage to Europe.  Something amazing happened to me on this trip.  First, God showed me how self-centered I was and how I had my priorities out of order – I had basketball and friends before God and family.  It was at this point that God literally brought me to my knees.  We were at the shrine of the Eucharistic Miracle in Lanciano, Italy.  As I listened to the stories and saw the pictures, I was just a typical tourist.  When I was standing right in front of the Eucharistic Miracle itself, I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit with instant clarity.  All of my doubts about the faith disappeared.  The knowledge and truth of the Love of God for each soul on earth was tangible.  His keen interest in each and every person was amazingly beautiful.  I wanted to get on my face as for the first time it hit my heart that I was truly standing in front of God!
Another place we visited on this trip was Assisi – there I fell in love with the spirit of St. Francis.  After reading some of his writings, I decided that IF (a big IF) I were ever to become a Sister, I would want to be a Franciscan.
After this, I was a completely new person.  Even peer pressure or what others thought of me was almost completely unimportant. This was essential in my trying to listen for God’s direction in my life.
Little by little, baby step by baby step, God opened my heart to the possibility of a religious vocation.  When I started college, I began praying for a good Catholic husband convinced that having a family was the only way I would be happy.  I wanted to be “normal”. As I tried to go toward that vocation, I could sense something inside that was not right.  Only when I finally visited a convent at the age of twenty-one there were no red flags in my heart – only peace.  God began showing me that my fears of the consecrated life were unfounded.
There was still something holding me back. I had a deep desire to love and be loved.  I continued to pray for a good Catholic husband – someone to help fulfill my deepest hopes and desires.  In the middle of this, I began meeting young, fun, and happy Sisters. This made me realize that there's a lot more to consecrated life than prayers and penance. These people love life and enjoy their vocations. And they chose this life over marriage. Why?
One day I was praying about the whole thing as there was a young man in my life that was hinting at marriage.  I was asking God what to do.  “I could get married and no one would know that I was called to be a Sister,” I thought to myself.  Then I felt like God said to me, “I am not calling you to human marriage.  I am calling you to Myself.  I am calling you to marry Me.”  He waited for my response. 
I was overwhelmed with the clarity of God’s grace and that His love would truly fulfill my desire to be loved and to love.  I had true peace.  That’s when I knew for sure.  I decided that I would follow God’s Call to give my life to Him, but I assumed it would be years away before I found the right place.  I was having too much fun as a Youth Director at this point and had no intention of moving to a convent . . . yet.
One of our priest friends that I respected very much was talking about trying to start a new community.  He was asking if I would be interested in helping because he knew about my vocation; he was instrumental in encouraging me to deepen my prayer life and to follow God with trust and love. Having a spiritual mentor is critical during these times of searching.  Where would I be without someone like Fr. Peter to be there every step of the way?
Since we were discussing potentially starting a new community, I realized that I knew nothing about what Sisters really do all day. It was a total mystery.  I assumed that they did a lot of praying and some work.  What else?
I was inspired to visit a local convent to find out. I went in “knowing” this was not the right community for me – only there to take notes and to learn about the daily routine of the life.  If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!  As the days went by, my heart was drawn in a grace-filled way to this community that I would “never” enter.  I was touched by the love I witnessed in the Sisters for each other.  I loved their lifestyle, their traditionalism, their apostolate, and . . . they were Franciscan! 
As I went to the car to go, I did not want to leave.  All I could do was think about what they were doing without me while I was gone.  I was overwhelmed with peace and joy!  I entered this same community within a few months of that first visit and have never looked back.  I realized that God had answered my prayer – the good husband I was looking for was God.  I had no idea the fulfilling intimacy of the Beloved that He had in mind for me and all of His brides.  What a huge gift!